Roger Ebert: Transformers 2 a horrible experience of unbearable length

The reviews are in for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and not only do most people say that its not even a mildly amusing or slightly entertaining action film, its also confusing, cumbersome, and way too long at well over two hours. Veteran critic Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun Times has some choice words

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The reviews are in for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and not only do most people say that it’s not even a mildly amusing or slightly entertaining action film, it’s also confusing, cumbersome, and way too long at well over two hours. Veteran critic Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun Times has some choice words for this epically bad movie, and other reviews are similarly scathing:

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. – Roger Ebert, The Chicago Sun Times

Revenge of the Fallen is two-and-a-half hours of top-shelf special effects deployed indiscriminately; a roaring, plotless, character-less mess that sees mainstream moviegoers as money-spending, barely sentient automatons. I want to emphasize the two and a half hours, because that running time seems downright criminal. It filled me with despair. At some point — probably around 100 minutes in, though I didn’t have a watch — I became convinced that the movie would never end. – Eugene Novikov, AMC TV

I hated every 149 minutes. This is so bad it’s immoral. Michael Bay is a time-sucking vampire who will feast off your lost time. This is why the movie is so long. – Victoria Alexander, FilmsInReview.com

Revenge of the Fallen is almost literally plotless. It’s like a movie based on a TV Guide description. A bloated, ponderous piece of s**t. – Devin Faraci, CHUD

Despite having lowered the artistic bar to Death Valley levels, director Michael Bay has somehow managed to figure out a way to slither beneath with the flexibility of the pole dancers-in-training that he prefers to hire as his female extras. – Peter Sobczynski, eFilmCritic.com

Putrid, offensive and life-sucking. Early word is describing this woebegone fiasco as the next Batman and Robin. Having seen both, Joel Schumacher has every right to protest the comparison. – Dustin Putman, TheMovieBoy.com

The first film was a summer action movie masterpiece, this one can’t even make giant, transforming robots stay interesting for its entire running time. – Matthew Razak, DC Examiner

[via Rotten Tomatoes]

Some fans on Rotten Tomatoes say the film had great action scenes and cool-looking robot cars and you can’t expect it to have a meaningful plot at all. According to just about all the reviews, it doesn’t. Many critics independently use metaphors to describe the film-going experience that involve getting hit on the head and listening to repetitive loud noises. There’s also the issue of the stereotypical portrayal of two annoying Transformers that are earning comparisons to Jar Jar Binks. Transformers 2 will undoubtedly make enough at the box office for filmmakers to justify putting out such crap. Journalist Roger Moore of the Orlando Sentinel perhaps best summed it up “Is it the worst movie of the summer? Possibly. Will everybody see it? Probably.”

Photos thanks to AllMoviePhoto.

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